Bored with funny jokes, we are here with a solution it is Anti jokes.
If your friend is very funny to tell these anti jokes he becomes very unfunny and bored.
We categorize anti jokes into different parts like best anti jokes, funny anti jokes, dark anti jokes, vax anti jokes, anti jokes chicken, etc.
so without any due let’s enjoy them.
Best Anti Jokes
- Meow Meow I’m a cow, I said Meow Meow I’m a cow
- I have 3 eyes 2 ears and 6 mouths, what am I UGLY!
- An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill, what did he say.
nothing, he was dead. - What do you eat out of?
A bowl - I was reading a book about anti-gravity
I couldn’t put it down! - what keo stands for?
kick Elmo more - All of the jokes are just abuse
- What do you call a dead human…
A DEAD HUMAN HAHAHahahah ha… ha… ha Am I the only one laughing - Do you know how Chinese people roast they say boy if you don’t get your chi Chong head boy?
- What’s long yellow and can’t swim
A School bus full of children - What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Sinocyclocheilus enophthalmos. - What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing sunglasses can’t talk - Why are monkeys funny?
Because they look weird. - Top secret information:
if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don’t stare at its eyes. - Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven…
- A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
- Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants… I hope they’re happy now
- hey, wanna hear a joke?
yeah me too. - why are ant colonies very healthy?
Because they have lots of antibodies. - why do you get it when you insert human DNA into a goat?
Banned from the petting zoo! - What do you call a man with nobody and no nose?
Nobody’s nose - People are like trees…
If you hit them with an X multiple times, they’ll fall over - What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? – A cross
- Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him - why did they fall off the swing?
They got hit by a refrigerator - Why couldn’t the T-Rex clap?
Because he’s dead. - What did one orphan say to the other?
Robin, get in the Batmobile. - I’ve got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them
- Take your age and add 5 to it.
That is your age in 5 years
Funny Anti Jokes
- What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence. - Want to hear something that will make you smile?
Your facial muscles. - What do you call a pencil sharpener that can’t sharpen pencils?
Broken. - Where was the Constitution signed?
The bottom. - What do you get when you mix and a goat and a sheep?
A geep. - What do you call a talking turtle?
Fictional. - What ended after 1987?
1988. - What did one stranger say to the other?
Nothing. They didn’t know each other. - What does one French Guy say to another French Guy?
My name is also a guy. - Why did the dinosaur say “hello” to the little girl?
He was being polite.
Dark Anti Jokes
- I have a fish that can breakdance!
only for 20 sec through, and only once - If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero.
But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. shees! - When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back. - Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
He’s all right now! - My grief counsellor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.
- A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
- Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy?
He died of a yeast infection.
Anti Vax Jokes
- Me: uses facts and logic to prove that vaccines are good for you.
Anti-vaccers: stop violating me with your different opinion! - Anti-vaccers: vaccination is a lie
Normal people: no it’s not!
Anti-vaccine: you are defensive and therefore find my opinion valid. - My point was that the plague disappeared without a vaccine.
Yeah because people died you an uneducated potato. - Boy: will you be my valentine?
Girl: have you been vaccinated? - How much is this?
5 penny - “Ok, ask away,” God said.
“Do vaccines cause autism?” She asked.
“The truth is no, vaccines have nothing to do with autism” God admitted.
The woman shakes her head and says “They got to you too, this thing really goes high up.” - So, all my neighbors are on my case because I’m not vaccinating my kids.
Anything I can do to get them off my back?
They say mean things all the time. like, “Your kids are gonna die” and, “science is real”
I don’t get it.
Neighbors: we all die at different speeds. It just so happens that your kids are currently the usian bolt speed. - Providers are murderers? prove me wrong?
we don’t spread diseases! - If vaccines were healthy, you could put them on a spoon and eat them. Try it, you’ll die.
If broccoli was healthy, you could put it in a syringe and inject it into your blood. try it, you’ll die.
Anti Jokes Chicken
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Col. Sanders.
To reach another side. - Five little chickens jumping on the bed.
one fell off and bumped his head.
momma called the doctor and the doctor said.
“I’m calling child protective service.” - If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy. - You take care of chickens.
Does that make you a chicken tender? - Love duck jokes?
then quack up! - Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
- Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son: why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a breakup and wanted to find some help at his friend’s pen, in the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
- Teacher: Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework - What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender
- why did the man say chickens were lucky…?
because they get killed and eaten. - What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! - Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
King Tut!
King Tut who?
King Tutty Fried Chicken! - What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick - Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down - Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Anti Jokes Sally
- Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn’t have arms. - How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally. - Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear. - Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a truck. - Stevie wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it’s the most violent book he’s ever read.
- A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide
the librarian looks at him and says “f*** off, you won’t bring it back” - Why do orphans play tennis?
It’s the only place they can find love.
Why not Baseball?
They can’t find a home. - What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves.
Just kidding…..
He hadn’t opened his present yet - what did the blind and deaf cancer patient get for Christmas?
aids - What do you call Wind in his Hair from “Dances with Wolves” after cancer?
Wind on his Scalp - You were all excited to get a gift.
The gift was an empty box. - What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette…
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage
Those jokes are not written or created by us, we just collected those jokes from social media & another third-party website.
If any of the jokes are hateful or wrong please contact us we will remove them.
Now it’s your turn to add your anti jokes in the comments section below.
Which anti jokes do you like most? let me know in the comment section.
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