There is no quiet animal like a cow. We are here with the best funny cow jokes. These silly cow jokes blow your mind until you laugh too mad.
So move on over and check our massive collection of cow jokes, also. We divide these jokes into funny cow jokes, cow jokes for kids, one linear cow jokes, knock-knock cow jokes, long & short cow jokes.
Without time wasting, let’s mooooo on!
Cow Jokes
- My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana.
The steaks have never been so high… - What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk - Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose. - Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy. - What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
YOU GET A MILKSHAKE! - What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated - How does a cow become invisible?
Through camooflage. - How do you count cows?
With a cowculator. - Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd. - What do you call a feminine cow
A dairy queen - What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence
Udder destruction - What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf??
Blue Cheese - What does a cow say when he remembers something?
“I have deja moo!” - Here’s a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy! - What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
“It’s pasture bed time.” - What do you call a cow who plays an instrument?
A moosician. - whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake - What is a cow’s favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs! - What does a cow watch
Moootube - what is a cows favorite move?
the sound of moooosic - What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
“Mc Donald’s.” - want to hear a joke a bout milk…
no it’s to cheesey. - what do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull dozer - Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says ‘I was just going to say that’
- My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
- What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake. - What do you call a cow with no toes
Lac-toes intolerant - Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder. - One day a cow ate a fish
what came out the other side?
A dead fish. - Why did the cow not want to talk the other cow?
Beacuse they had beef with eachother
Best Cow Jokes 2021
- What do you call funny cow?
A cowmedian - How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down - What cow can part water?
Mooses - What do you call an idiotic cow
A mis-steak! - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work. - What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer - Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
- What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs. your mom - What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It is pasture your bed time - What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky. - What is a cow’s favorite drink?
Mountain Moo! - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef - What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er - What do you call a short cow in tall grass?
Udderly tickled 🙂 - Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo Zealand.
Funny Cow Jokes
- What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock. - What do you call a Sad Depressed Artist?
Anything But Cows of Woe. - What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema?
To be amooooosed - What do cows eat for breakfast?
Moosli. - Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the milky way!
Cool Cow Jokes
- What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it - What did the cow and bull do for their first date?
Dinner and a Mooovie. - Why didn’t the cows eat the lemongrass.
It made sour milk. - Where do cows go to entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater - Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake
Awesome cow Jokes
- What do you call a cow that’s beating his meat?
Beef stroganoff! - What do cows call money?
Moola - What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire?
Utter destruction. - what do you call a cow that is really sad?
Utterly Depressed HEHEHEHE - What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
“Deja moo!”
Cow Jokes For Kids
- What do you call a cow that’s had an abortion?
De-calf-inated. - What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air. - What do you get when a cow doesn’t give anymore milk?
A milk dud - How did the cow break up with the other cow?
He said he moo-ved on - What’s goes “Ooooooo.”?
A cow with no lips - What did mama cow say to baby cow?
“It’s pasture bed time.” - How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha - Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.
- What do you call a cranky cow?
Moooooooody - A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards…
The steaks were pretty high - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
Top 20 Cow jokes One-liners
- What do you call a cow after she has given birth?
Decaffeinated - Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbwire fence?
It was an udder disaster - What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk - What do you call sleeping male cattle?
Bulldozers - What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef - What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean Beef - What is the most important use for a cowhide?
Holding the cow together - When cows get sick what do you call it?
Hay Fever - Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way - Why don’t cows have money?
Because farmers milk them dry - Why did the cow kick, Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher - Where do steers go dancing?
The Meat Ball - What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A Milkshake - What do you call a cow with no ears?
Call her all you want, she won’t hear you - Why do cows were bells?
Their horns don’t work - What do you call cows with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock - Why don’t cows understand what you say?
Because it goes in one ear and out the udder - How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down - Where do baby cows get their food?
The cafeteria
Cow Puns
- Why couldn’t the cow gain weight?
She was more of a grazer. - Why are cows always broke?
Someone’s always milking them dry. - What did the cow confess to his therapist?
“I feel seen but not herd.” - What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk?
This is udderly problematic! - Why did the cow start a fight with his buddy?
There was real beef between them!
Cow Jokes Legs
- What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip. - What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef. - What do you call a cow with one leg?
Steak. - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. - What do you call a cow with five legs?
Rare.
Knock Knock Cow Jokes
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrup…
Moooooooo! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Impatient cow.
Impatient cow wh-?
Mooooo! - Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Cowsgo.
Cowsgo who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo. - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
Cows go moo not who. - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No silly cows go moo. - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cows.
Cows who?
Cows go ‘moo’ not who! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, a cow says Mooooo! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow much longer are you going to put up with all this knocking? - Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy cow jump over the moon! - Knock knock
Cow goes
No silly cows go moo
Short Cow Jokes
- Teacher: Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework - What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
- Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now, what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”
Long Cow Jokes
- There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow, and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replied,” Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.” The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”
- Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around?” The other cow replied, “Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I’m a rabbit!”
- Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
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