Looking for some Scary and Hilarious Halloween Jokes.
so we are here with the best Halloween Jokes around the world.
For your better trick or treat, we divide these jokes into Best Halloween Jokes, Dirty Halloween Jokes for adults, Top 10 Halloween Jokes, Halloween Knock Knock Jokes, and Halloween Jokes and Puns.
Without wasting any candy let’s begin our Halloween Jokes party. Enjoy!
Best Halloween Jokes 2021
- What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton?
Bone-appetite! - What did the happy pumpkin say?
Life is gourd! - What do little ghouls and boys study in algebra?
Pumpkin pi! - What do skeletons learn about in history class?
Napoleon Bone-a-part! - What is zombie Shakespeare’s favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet! - What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist! - Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten! - What do you call a moon out of orbit?
A lunatic! - Why are all mummies workaholics?
They’re afraid to unwind! - What did the ghost bring her girlfriend?
A boo-quet! - Why did the scarecrow stand-up comedian fail?
Because all his jokes were corny! - How do you unlock a door on Halloween?
With a spoo-key! - Who’s the world’s best skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones! - Who did Dracula take to the school dance?
His ghoul friend! - What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash! - Why are skeletons always so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin! - What is the skeleton’s funniest bone?
The humerus! - How do spiders communicate?
Through the word wide web! - What’s a teenage ghost’s favorite song?
“Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun!” - What did the vampire say to his spouse?
It was love at first bite! - How are witches able to stay so positive?
Witch-ful thinking! - What did the werewolf say to his friend?
Howl you doing!
Top 10 Halloween Jokes
- How do vampires get around on Halloween?
On blood vessels. - The skeleton couldn’t help,
being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts. - What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
Spooktacles. - What can you catch from a vampire in winter?
Frostbite. - Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
He had no body to go with. - Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
Any old friend he could dig up! - What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
Rice Creepies. - What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
Snap, Cackle & Pop! - What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life! - Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
Bootiques.
Halloween Jokes For Kids
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it. - What’s a witch’s favourite subject in school?
Spelling. - How do ghosts wash their hair?
With shamboo - What is a monster’s favourite dessert?
I scream! - What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein! - What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries. - What room does a ghost not need?
A living room - How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A pumpkin patch. - What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates. - What’s big, scary and has three wheels?
A monster riding a tricycle!
Scary Halloween Jokes
- Why wouldn’t the barman get the ghost a drink?
Because they didn’t serve spirits. - Why don’t vampires strike at retirement homes?
Because everyone’s on blood thinners. - What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates. - Why do witches make great wives?
Because they promise a wonderful hex life. - What words of wisdom did Mum give to her kids on Halloween night?
Remember kids, I like Snickers, M and M’s and Peanut Butter Cups. - What do ghosts call irons?
Anti-ageing products. - What did the monster say to Dr. Frankenstein?
You complete me. - Vampires sleep all day. Fly wherever they want for free. Can’t see themselves in a mirror.
Where do I sign up? - What did the witch say to her new husband?
Take a good look, it’s the only time you’ll see me holding a broom. - What did the ghost say to the psychiatrist?
I used to be somebody. - What did the old lady say to Death?
Nice hoodie.
Hilarious Halloween Jokes
- Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo! - What did the zombies say to these jokes?
“Haha, these are killing me!” - Why do vampires subscribe to The Washington Post?
It has great circulation! - Why do spirits have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love! - Which fruit is a vampire’s favourite?
A neck-tarine! - Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
He was already stuffed! - Why was the mute ghost sad on Valentine’s Day?
He couldn’t find a boo! - What’s another word for a witch’s garage?
A broom closet! - What did the werewolf say to his friend?
Howl you doing - Skeletons love binge-watching,
their favourite shows on the skele-vision!
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben waiting to get candy all day!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive Halloween!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda go trick or treating tonight?
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Ice Cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for Halloween!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry… it’s Halloween!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Figs!
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell, it’s broken!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you’re glad it’s Halloween!
Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Goat!
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out!
Halloween Jokes and Puns
- Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in! - Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost?
To the day-care centre! - What did the skeleton bring to the potluck.
Spare ribs! - What plans like Halloween the most?
Bam-Boo! - What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Wrap music!
Dirty Halloween Jokes For Adults
- I visited a real graveyard today.
I logged onto Google Plus. - It’s crazy out there! I’ve just killed 25 zombies so far!
But why the hell are they all carrying candy? - My Grandma always makes a big effort for Halloween. Cobwebs on the ceiling, dead insects in the windows, a skeleton on the couch.
Pity she wasn’t home. - Why wouldn’t they let the Grim Reaper in the sauna?
He always ended up looking like death warmed-up. - That awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains.
And it walks right past you. - Did you hear about the teenage ghost who lay on the couch all day?
It was a case of paranormal inactivity. - Why was the ghost arrested?
Possession. - What did the witch say at the Department of Motor Vehicles?
As a matter of fact, I can drive a stick. - If one door opens when another one closes…
Your house is haunted. - Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the others side.
Halloween Jokes One liners
- What should you eat at a baseball game on Halloween? A frakenfurter!
- Why was the witch late for the party? She lost her witch-watch!
- What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? Boo-berry pie!
- What part of the street do vampires live on? A dead-end!
- Which ghost is the best dancer? The boogie man!
- What is a goblin’s favourite type of cheese? Monster-ella!
- Why are vampires too easy to fool? Because they’re suckers.
- Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face!
- What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen? Count Spatula!
- How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
Halloween Bar Jokes
- A blind vampire walked into a bar,
and into a chair and a table.. - The one legged pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender asks what you having matey.
A wooden leg of you bar stood first. - Chuck Norris walks into a bar full of zombies.
They kill themselves. - A ghost walks into a bar,
the bar tender says “Sorry mate,
we don’t serve spirits here.” - A werewolf walks into a bar and everybody runs out except the bartender.
That’s because the werewolf likes his meat tender! - A skeleton walks into a bar.
The bartender smiles and asks if he can smile.
No, the skeleton replies but
can you live without your skeleton and takes it from him. - A vampire walks into a bar.
The bartender asks “What is your poison?”
“Sunlight”
The bartender said
“Well you will be here all night to get a shot of that.” - A wizard walks into a bar.
The bartender says “Put down the staff.”
So the wizard goes around knocking out the bar staff. - A witch walks into a bar and the bartender asks her
“How does she like her poison?”
“With an apple thanks.” - A three eyed jack-o-lantern walks in to a bar.
The bartender asks “Who carved you up?”
Some blind guy!
Those Jokes are not written or created by us, we just collected those puns from social media & another third-party website.
If any of the Jokes are hateful or wrong please contact us we will remove them.
Now it’s your turn to add your Halloween jokes in the comments section below.
Which Halloween jokes do you like most? let me know in the comment section.
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